So ok , blunt end of the stick here ..... a wee while ago I mentioned some health problems , haven't updated that info because it just got worse , so I really had nothing to add apart from a good moan , and if anyone knows us Scots , we can moan thee
So , on Thursday Im heading in for my first OP ,getting a Cp scan , an endoscopy , colonoscopy and a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy (hell knows what that last one is lol) , I have 3 lumps that are being tested , one in my back , one in my throat and one under my ribs ...... I know its cancer , the docs pretty sure it is too . Iv lost so much weight , Im now under 7 stone .... I look like shit , I also dyed my hair fire engine red and now look like a transvestite hooker on crack (with regards to the weight loss) lol I hate it , the hair I mean . Anyway , I want some bloody luck sent my way please (with cherry's on top) I havent eaten a meal in 6 months plus , I live on porridge in the morn and thats it ...... occasionaly I splash out and have a banana at dinner time but other than that Im STARVING all the time , yet cant eat due to lump in throat and fear that my GERD will get worse , which is now daily ....... cant mind a day when I woke and had nothing wrong with me ..... I tell you , with no shame either , I was a braggart , I bragged about my lack of illness and utterly brilliant health , now the devil has caught me and hes rammed his foot firmly up my arse lol sods law isnt it ?!
Today I have to fast for 48 hours , they took me off my meds 10 days ago , and Iv been in E&A 3 times since . I know I cant eat normally , but being told to not eat is entirely different , as Im a kinda rebel at heart
I want steak , and hotdogs ..... oh and chorizo ...... and for dessert I want a banana split and a Knickerbocker Glory ...... and I never want to see another bowl of porridge for as LONG AS I LIVE or so help me I will run you over and steal your dog!. God I hate it ...... ok Im lying , but eating the same dish day in day out is tedious and boring ..... I cook , I love cooking and eating , now I cook and just inhale the flavors out of everything lol The dogs have NUTHIN on me , N.U.T.H.I.N
I shall be on vaca mode for 1 week , I have no idea when I will be back online to update , but I do hope its soon . In the mean time , you may send chocolates , grapes (red please) and some vintage cheeses ....... , oh and no flowers , I prefer the potted variety (Im just about to harvest my 2 Aloe plants yay) In exchange , I will gift you with a weeks supply of either pineapple upside down cake , Caramel cake or carrot cake , take your pick love , Iv been cooking for 2 weeks straight and not EATING ..... some of them may have no flavor left due to my superb inhaling maneuver
I promise , I never licked nary a one , scouts honor!
So today will be my last update for a while , I will check in before I go , but I cant promise anything as I never know whats gonna happen . As of right now (its 6:24pm here in Sunny Glasvegas) and I havent slept in 73 hours , this is normal dont worry , but my god Im so tired Im doing silly things , like last night I put a dish towel in the fridge and I also decided for some reason that I had to carry a pot around the house with no idea what I was doing with it lol Fruitcake ....... no , carrot cake ! Haha boom .... ok Im tired and being silly now , be good people ,PLEASE! Take care of your loved ones and yourself , you never know when the big mans gonna pop up and decide to add something to your bio mix ..... If only he could have given me something like itchy eyebrows , or a larger big toe , or ..... or a detachable ear ........ I could cope with any of them . Anyway , I'm out , be good my minions , be good and safe and healthy and do Not take your food for granted , or I will show up and inhale all those lovely smells away